THE PRICK.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
… on a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
This one is pretty self explanatory. The prick will most often be sighted driving a Beamer and driving like a prick. This includes but is not limited to: cutting you off in traffic, driving in excess of 15 mph over the speed limit, blocking intersections, and bumping techno or boisterous rap music with the windows down. Also, not merging in a timely manner when a lane is ending. Going full speed ahead until your lane ends does not make me excited to let you merge in front of me into my lane.
THE GRANDMA
Now I love cute little old ladies as much as the next girl, but there comes a time when you have to cut the cord and take the keys away. Common grandma-like driving can be manifested through: driving in excess of 15 mph under the speed limit, slowing down 200 feet prior to a turn, swerving into oncoming traffic, not being able to see over the steering wheel, and not going when the light turns green.
BLINKY BLINKERSON
While this guy may not be a “bad driver” per se, it’s just plain annoying to see an incessantly blinking light when the person has no intention of turning.
THE UNGRATEFUL DOUCHE
This bad driver can be seen worming their way into the flow of traffic and then not giving a “courtesy wave” to the person who let them in.
THE CABBIE
In addition to providing a usually unbecoming aroma, cabbies can be seen weaving in and out of lanes, stopping in the middle of a lane meant for through traffic while their fare pays, and chattering on Bluetooth headsets.
THE ARROGANT SUV
The arrogant SUV's most often exhibited behavior is speeding up behind you on the freeway in an attempt to bully you out of their way. Accompanying mannerisms include flashing their brights, honking their horns, and/or waving their hands at you in an angry frenzy.
THE CAR WITH ONE HEADLIGHT OUT
As previously addressed, having one headlight out does not, I repeat DOES NOT give you the right to turn your brights on and blind me. Go get your headlight fixed… and in the meantime, drive with your low beams on, ya jerk.
THE CLUELESS GIRL
“I totally paused…”
The clueless girl can and probably will be seen unknowingly cutting people off, screeching to a halt to avoid hitting a pedestrian in the crosswalk, and generally not paying attention. I sometimes fit into this category.
