I hate...

When you are getting your teeth cleaned and the dental hygienist makes unneccessary small talk while your mouth is pried open with metal objects.


I know small talk is a polite formality, but save us both the trouble and shutthefuggup. Not only is it awkward to attempt to answer your questions while my molars are being probed, but a dangerous amount of saliva is collecting at the back of my throat and threatening to choke me at any second. I don't know why the girl above looks so relaxed and happy because I'm pretty sure I was rolling my eyes every 43 seconds today.

I hate...

Muffin tops!

And I'm not talking Otis Spunkmeyer style because those are delicious. I'm talking girls who don't know how to appropriately dress their body styles. Did this girl actually look at herself before leaving the house and think "Dang... I look good"? You can argue "more cushion for the pushin'" all you want but truth stands that muffin tops are nast.

I hate...

when assholes have one headlight out and turn their brights on to "remedy" the situation. Thanks for blinding me. No, really. Awesome. Thanks.

I hate...

children screaming bloody murder through entire plane rides.

In light of my upcoming travels, I have started to experience night terrors reliving similar past experiences. Once on a plane ride to Austria, I was stuck behind one of these creatures for 12 HOURS. Aside from bankrupting myself with $6 drinks and erupting my tympanic membranes via blaring iPod music, there really isn't jack shit you can do about this unfortunate scenario.

I hate...

Butterflies.

They're creepy and can't fly on a straight trajectory. Come on.

I hate...

Guidos.


I think these two pictures really capture the Guido essence. We've all seen the "Jagerbombs" youtube video which also captures the Guido essence nicely. Reasons to hate Guidos include, but are not limited to: their doucheyness, a prevailing aura of annoyingness, and their extreme offensiveness to the human race in general.

I hate...

Those baseball/tennis/football stickers with the cracked window around it that people put on their windshields to make it look like the ball is stuck halfway through it.

I would like to meet the man who invented these so I can punch him square in the face.